Are you struggling everyday with watching the love of your life being
flattered by other potential lovers, knowing that you yourself are the
only one who loves her truly? Jealousy, hatred, and a feeling of loss
might all come to life during this time. But what you really need to do
is win that person's heart. Read on to learn how.
1
Don't come on too strong early. Let the relationship develop at its own
pace. Coming on too strong early will almost certainly creep her out.
Gradually get stronger feelings for her as you go on with the
relationship together.
2 Be brave. Most girls like people with
confidence, not an ego. Just walk up to her and start a simple
conversation. She'll get the hint that you are interested in her. Start
with a simple conversation starter:
"That's a really nice dress. Did you make it yourself?"
"I'm sorry, I'm new here. Can you tell me where the library is?"
"Hi, my name is [your name]. You look like you're interesting to talk
to. Do you mind if I steal a couple minutes of your time?"
3 Be
around other girls. This is not the same thing as flirting with other
girls, which is probably not a good move. Being around other girls tells
the girl that you're really interested in that other girls find you
safe, reliable, and easy to be around. If you get other girls to
indirectly vouch for you like this, you've made a big step.
Make friends with her friends if it's not too big of a step. We know
that it can be overwhelming, but just try. If her friends like you,
you'll have a better chance of winning her over. After all, girls often
turn to their friends for advice and for a second opinion. Make sure
they have a high opinion of you.
4 Have good hygiene. Women take
pride in smelling clean and looking kempt! That means if a man has good
hygiene, it works really well on her. The opposite, bad hygiene, is
usually an immediate deal-breaker. Believe it or not, fresh,
clean-smelling hair is a really good thing. And, a fresh-smelling body
is a must-have. Here are three things that you can do right now to
improve your hygiene:
Rain or shine, sweat or not, shower
daily. If you can afford it, it's better to be too-clean than not clean
enough. Take pride in how clean you are and in smelling nice. Especially
if you play sports, this step is a must.
Shave or groom your
facial hair daily. Most women like men who don't carry facial hair: it's
prickly and unlikely to look good unless you're an adult. So shave that
stubble away every day.
Use deodorant, not cologne. A lot of
guys think they can "mask" the scent of their natural body odor with
cologne. Instead, the BO and cologne just mixes together to create a
very bad odor. Girls would rather not smell you at all than smell this
cologne-creation. If you must spray on cologne, spray it on very
lightly.
5 If you can make a girl laugh, you'll get further with
her. But don't take advantage of this. Let her be your best friend
first, then ease into things. A girl needs to know that she can trust
you, and that you're not going to break her heart because you really do
care about her. Girls love to laugh and will laugh at anything you say,
even if its not funny.
6 Be sincere. Compliments, flirting, teasing,
carefulness -- none of it matters unless you truly do care. When you do
decide to compliment her, take time to reflect on what you like about
her, summon up the courage to tell her, and be sincere.
It's
okay to disagree with her, as long as you don't threaten her, you
respect her opinion, and you offer good reasons about why you believe
differently. Who knows? She might even respect you more for speaking
your mind, because it shows how much of an individual you are.
7
Prove that you really like her. Show that you're not simply crushing or
lusting for her. Ask her about herself, talk to her. Don't just move in
for the kiss. Listen to her and look her in the eye.
8 Compliment
her. Complimenting a girl is tough: every person wants to feel good
about themselves, but the right compliment is really hard to come by.
Not only that, a little complimenting goes a long way. Pay attention to
these guidelines when you're ready to start showing you like her more
than just a friend:
Reinforce how she views herself. If she
thinks of herself as an athlete, reinforce her competitive spirit or
athletic skills. If she thinks of herself as a thinker, praise her
smarts. Whatever she thinks of herself as, compliment that aspect of her
the most.
Stick with safe compliments about her personality.
Don't compliment her feminine areas, or too much about her looks; while
girls want to feel pretty, they also want to feel like you respect them
just as much for their smarts and personality. If you do want to
compliment a girl on her looks, stick to these areas:
Smile
Hair
Eyes
Lips
Clothes
Style
Try out some compliments like these. They're a rough sketch, so try to
think of your own that are more appropriate for the occasion and the
girl.
"I'm sorry this is pretty awkward, but I get really nervous around pretty girls."
"Maybe you get this a lot, but I love the way your mind works."
"I like how the color of your eyes matches your dress. Does one of your parents also have blue eyes?"
1 Memorize her eye color. Do this by looking at them as much as you
can when you're talking with her. It wouldn't be a bad idea to do this
for every woman you meet.
2 Practice flirting with her.
You've probably started flirting with her a little bit by complimenting
her and talking with her. Now it's time to step it up a notch and really
show her what your game is about.
Whatever you do, visualize
success and be confident. You can't flirt if you're not confident in
your abilities to win her over. So do whatever gets you pumped up, or
wait until you've scored the winning touchdown or won the science fair,
and start flirting.
Break the touch barrier. Gently start
touching her in safe, non-threatening areas. Touch her hand lightly when
you make a point or tell the kicker to a joke; rub her back quickly
when you're reassuring her about something; touch the top of her
shoulder when you want to get her attention.
Playfully tease
her. Preferably, tease her about something that she's confident about or
good at, so that she knows that you're teasing her instead of insulting
her. If she's great at school, for example, say something like "I
wouldn't want to be on a science project with you, because that means
I'd be pulling all the slack."
3 Don't play games. It's a
waste of time and gets a relationship headed in the wrong direction. If
you try to start a relationship on something false (like you say you've
had a multi-year relationship yet you've never even had a girlfriend),
that is most likely where you will end up. If you think the girl is only
in the relationship for one thing, and you're in it for another, don't
just play along to keep her with you. Tell her what you're looking for
and try and make her see what really counts.
Don't play hard
to get unless you're sure it'll work. Believe it or not, some guys try
to play hard to get. And most of the time, it fails because the girl
misinterprets his distance for coldness.
4 Be reliable. Most
girls want to have someone they can trust and turn to when something
goes wrong. And even when she is having a good day, let her know you're
interested in how she's doing. If you know that she has plans after work
or school, ask her how it went. If you let on that you like her, she'll
eventually pick up on the hints. You don't even have to come out and
say it.
If you say you're going to do something, do it. If
you talk the talk, be prepared to walk the walk. Girls (and guys, for
that matter) hate it when people say they'll do something but never
follow through. Don't be that guy.
Polish your reputation. Don't have the reputation of someone that she might not want to date. That means:
Treating other girls nicely and not harassing them.
Having good friends who are likely and willing to vouch for you when you need it.
Being somebody who is generally well-liked, respected, and admired.
5 Let her wear your jacket if she's cold. It makes an even bigger
impression if you take it off of your back and give it to her to wear,
but make sure it's clean and smells decent. In doing this, you show a
girl that you care about her. She will feel safe and cared.
6
Be interested in who she is. Ask her about her day. It's a simple way to
show her that you are interested in what she does, and that you do
care. When she starts to talk, you must give her your full attention.
Look her in the eye. Most importantly, don't interrupt. Ask her
questions to show her that you were listening, and offer your opinion if
you have one.
1 Share in her emotions. If she gets a
perfect score on her math test, be cheerful about it! If she is having a
bad day, let her know that you feel her pain and that you want her to
feel better. Ask her if there is any way that you can make her feel
better.
If you know of a surefire way to cheer her up, use it
when she's down. Maybe she likes a special kind of fro-yo that's only
available two towns south. Maybe she's excited about teddy-bears that
they make her laugh. Whatever it is, go the extra mile to help show her
what she means to you.
2 Love her for her quirks. Everyone
has something they don't like about the person they love, but if you
have too many big things on that list, that's trouble. You need to love
her for the things that make her special, for her uniqueness. Tell her
so.
If she's insecure about something, for example, you'd
have a golden opportunity to make her feel better. Say something like:
"I love your freckles. They really highlight your beauty." A simple
thing like that could boost her spirits and show her that you like her
for the right reasons.
Be especially careful about her
insecurities. Most girls (and guys, too) are insecure about some aspect
of their personality and/or looks. As you get to know her, you'll
probably come to know and understand that insecurity more. Don't call
attention to it, be forgiving of it, and encourage her to look at all
the other traits that make her wonderful.
3 Make her feel
like the most beautiful girl in the world. You can actually directly say
that. Girls love to be complimented and to know that they are
beautiful, but don't overdo it, particularly in a new friendship. Just
saying something like, "You look really nice today" will make her happy.
As long as you're sincere and mean it. If you are not, they will not
trust your opinion on other things.
4 Develop great
communication skills. Share interesting things that you're thinking, or
stories about people you've come across. You've probably asked a lot of
questions about her, but maybe she doesn't know all that much about you.
Share the parts of yourself that you're comfortable sharing, and maybe
even the parts of yourself you're still scared to reveal.
If
she's shown parts of herself that are vulnerable, don't be afraid to
show her little bits of pieces of yourself that you're vulnerable about,
too.
Put yourself in her shoes. What does she like talking
about? How does she respond to criticism? What makes her different than
other girls? What does she pride herself on? Answer these questions from
her perspective and plan accordingly.
5 Ask her out on a
date if you haven't already. Getting to the date stage is the hardest
part. Once you've gone on a few dates, you'll find out pretty quickly
whether she's still the stuff of your dreams. But getting there can be
difficult. Luckily, you're confident, calm, and you have a plan:
You don't have to say it's a date to ask her out. Things can get
awkward if you call it a date. Instead, say something like: "Hey, so I
got two tickets to that new movie on Saturday, and my friend bailed.
Would you want to go?"
Increases your chances of success on a
date by doing something exciting, something that raises her heart rate.
Maybe a haunted house, or a theme park with roller coasters, or a
horror movie. Dates that are exciting have a better chance of promoting a
bond between you two because you feel like you've been through
something together.
Be a gentleman. Open doors for her, be on
time, pay for the date, and don't expect a kiss on the first date. Move
at her pace and make her feel comfortable. If you make her feel
comfortable at every step, she should melt into your arms.
6
Always let her know you love her. Love who she is, inside and out. And
show it. This is the most important step. If she knows you love her she
will be more keen on the relationship.
Tips
- Consider
giving her a promise ring to declare your love and show your good
intention, this will make her realize how much you love her.
- Don't be petty. Don't complain about trivial things.
- Don't
seem over eager. Let her call and text you sometimes (though make sure
you at least send her little texts too to show you think of her, but
don't overdo it).
- Making the first move doesn't always work, but
it can work if you know her well enough. Wait for the right moment like
if she is upset or says something nice to you or if she is scared but
eye contact is key.
- Don't interrupt. Show a respect for everything and everyone. Be a nice person; understanding and appreciative.
- If
a girl takes you away from your friends and to a quiet place, don't
just assume that she wants to ask you out. There's a decent chance she
might ask a totally different question.
- Sometimes, less direct
methods of talking to her (like text messaging) can give off a more
mysterious and intriguing impression, but nothing really compares to
face-to-face communication. Get plenty of that in.
- Talk to her
politely, especially when you two have a fight. Try to make yourself a
humble man; that will be the sweetest point of you.
- Be self-assured. Walk, talk and act with confidence. Be a leader. Offer her the security you can provide.
- Be honest.
Warnings
-
Never rebound with another girl straight after a relationship. If you
have recently broken up with a girl, don't get in a relationship too
quickly with anyone afterward; this could show the girl that you never
even loved her.
- Don't worry if you don't match up with all
of these suggestions. If you feel similar feelings and you love her,
you'll be okay.
- Never talk about her behind her back, because she is going to find out, girls are smart that way!
-
Do not cheat on her. You may never win her heart back and you could
emotionally scar her and prevent her from wanting to be in a
relationship again.
- Never put all your eggs in one basket,
unless ready for a devoted marriage or prolonged relationship.
Understand you may get burned.
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